…because I was still being careful regarding my shoulder. It feels a lot better now though, and I also managed a fifty-minute YouTube yoga session at lunchtime, so I think I should be able to go for a longer run tomorrow.
I’ve spent the rest of the day editing, writing, and getting on with admin stuff. Sometimes I feel like I’m making progress with my lists upon lists of things to do, but most of the time – even in these quieter lockdown days – it seems as though I get one thing done and then several more get added to the other end of the list! At least I’m never bored…
Looking forward to another good few hours of videogaming this evening. Geth has finished work early so has started his XCOM session already!
Geth was rather taken with the colourful-ness of the washing line yesterday and asked me to take a picture. To be fair, I am amassing an extremely good collection of funky-patterned running tights.
Today’s earworm playlist:
Nobuo Uematsu – ‘Main Theme’ Ben Haenow – ‘Something I Need’ Lucy Spraggan – ‘Lighthouse’ The Wonder Stuff – ‘Don’t Let Me Down, Gently’
This one should really be known as ‘The Leaning Phone Box of Torphins’ and I’d be surprised if it’s there for much longer… because in addition to it falling over, there’s no phone inside! Poor phone box – it would be nice if this one could be rescued, reutilised and straightened up again, but I’m not holding my breath.
…because I’ve had a bit of pain in my back/shoulder over the last couple of days and it’s irritating me when I run. As such, I’m keeping my runs short until I feel better. I had a really good go at it with the foam roller earlier today, and it does seem to be loosening, so hopefully it’ll be fine again in a few days’ time.
I feel a lot more awake than yesterday, and so today I’ve been able to get on fairly quickly with my to-do list, which has been the usual: small amount of day job work, another graphic drawn for my next adventure game, various bits of housework and admin, that kind of thing. I really appreciate being able to stay in the house and get on with all of this stuff at the moment, even if the sunny spring weather is making me think about beaches and tropical islands and so on.
I think 2021, if we’re allowed out by then, may involve a bit of travel. Just a bit.
In the meantime, the only tropical islands I’ll be visiting are the ones in my videogames. But that’s okay.
The foam roller and spiky ball are tough going on the muscles, but they do work the knots out.
Today’s earworm playlist:
Ollie Wride – ‘Back To Life’ Yasunori Mitsuda – ‘Where It All Began’ Yasunori Mitsuda – ‘Elysium, In The Blue Sky’ A bit of royalty-free Christmas music that loads of companies use to accompany videos and games at Christmastime but which I have never been able to find the name of (you can hear it in the opening of this Dice Tower video) The Weeknd – ‘Blinding Lights’
…because I felt I needed it after doing two 10ks in the last three days. (My quarantine hair is getting worse and worse in these videos. Don’t judge. I miss my hairdresser a LOT right now.)
I feel that my recovery mile has sort of set the tone for today. I’ve been ploughing through my to-do list, but I find I can’t concentrate on anything for very long, and so everything is going to have to be done piecemeal this week if it’s to be done properly. Geth is finding the day’s tasks slow going as well, and so there’s a bit of a low energy atmosphere in the house today.
Hoping to feel a bit more alert tomorrow!
Another holiday snap. This was the last time I swam in the sea, in France in 2015. Photo by Dad.
Today’s earworm playlist:
Nobuo Uematsu – ‘Zanarkand’ Duran Duran – ‘The Chauffeur’ Duran Duran – ‘All You Need Is Now’ Duran Duran – ‘911 Is A Joke’ Nina Nesbitt – ‘Stay Out’
…and managed a similar pace to Saturday, which I was very pleased about! I feel as though my daily training since the start of the year has sped me up in what seems to be a permanent way. I’ll just keep plugging away and see what happens.
I have most definitely filled up the routine extra time afforded by the lockdown now, to the extent that I’m not sure how I’m going to go back to regular life when this is all over. I’ve written before about how it’s going to be a slow process out of lockdown for me – I won’t just be jumping back into a routine of multiple classes and groups and meetups per week, because I think I would find that overwhelming. But the thing is that I’m not sure I ever want to go back to that busy routine. All of the individual things were meant to be fun, but taken together, they made life a bit stressful. As such, I think there are things to which I won’t be returning – things I’m going to have to learn to let go of. I don’t know which things yet. The only thing I know I will definitely be going back to post-lockdown is parkrun – it’s free of charge, it’s helpful for my running improvement, and I love it to death.
In short, my big takeaway from this year is that there’s no point spending time and money on things that cause me stress, just because I feel that it’s something I SHOULD do. As such, I’ve stopped buying all the magazines I’m not getting round to reading, including breaking my decade-plus streak of buying Doctor Who Magazine (that was a wrench… but I’ve just not had time for Who fandom for a good two or three years. I haven’t even watched the most recent series yet, which would have been unthinkable when I was in my twenties). I no longer attend every vintage fair in Newcastle just because it’s on (this is something I discussed in my personal style post the other day). I stopped going to Pilates and dance classes last year – I enjoy those things, but they’re just not a priority for me any more.
Learning to let go is something I’ve always found difficult, and something I discussed a lot in my counselling sessions earlier this year. I am a consummate hoarder, not just of physical possessions but also of memories and identities and personal connections.
(If somebody de-friends me on Facebook, I hold a grudge like you would not believe – because why would we want to lose each other from our collection of contacts? Collections are to be grown, not ‘culled’! We may not have anything in common now, but we did once, and why would you want to move on from that? Why would you want to let go?)
My identity as a Doctor Who fan is one of those things I’m struggling to let go of, hence why I am trying not to think about having broken my magazine-buying streak. My identity as a goth is another. I became goth in my teens, made all my university friends and met my future husband in the goth and rock society, spent my twenties in various states of consciousness at goth clubs and gigs and festivals, and then… I last went to a scene event in August 2018. I only still wear my old goth band t-shirts and hoodies because they’re comfortable. It’s been years since I last listened to the music – I prefer ’80s pop and soundtracks and synthwave now. I got sober, and so I don’t really like spending time in pubs and clubs anymore, and I think it’ll be some time before I can brave a festival again.
‘You do still wear a lot of black, though,’ my counsellor said when I mentioned this to her. I suppose I do – some habits are hard to break, and it’s a practical colour. It’s just… I just don’t feel drawn to that particular aesthetic anymore, and while I’ve still got a lot of friends in the scene, I don’t see myself wanting to go back to the events, and I don’t think I can really call myself ‘goth’ these days, and I’m not sure I want to.
Accepting that fact requires a big shift in thinking, though. Just like accepting that these days I’m a casual Doctor Who viewer at best, and accepting that there are some old acquaintances I’m never going to see or speak to again (and that I probably won’t miss them), and accepting that I really need to chuck out those manky old Ikea cushions I’ve been hanging onto since 2002.
I’ve never yet been capable of making that big shift in thinking. But it’s becoming more and more apparent to me that it’s a necessary process.
I’m videogaming again tonight. In recent months I’ve occasionally felt a bit sheepish about mentioning that every day – like it’s a bit sad to be spending all my time videogaming, even if lockdown does provide me with the perfect excuse. But it’s what makes me happy at the moment, and that’s all that matters.
I ran on the Town Moor today for the first time since the final pre-lockdown parkrun. It felt strange, even though I’ve often done solo runs there before. While I was enjoying parkrun touristing in the months before coronavirus happened, I think that I will be back at my home parkrun on the Moor when it’s time for the great parkrun return.
Today’s earworm playlist:
Yasunori Mitsuda – ‘Where It All Began’ Nina Nesbitt – ‘Stay Out’
…because I did a longer run yesterday, and am planning to do another one tomorrow, so I needed a sort-of ‘rest’ day today. It was really sunny, and the blossom round here is beautiful at the moment, so I stopped to take a lot of pictures.
I’ve spent most of today updating my gaming PC and trying to set up the SteamLink Hardware that my friend Sharpy got me as a birthday gift a few years back. We’ve just about got it working but not quite – we need an extra keyboard and mouse so that the PC doesn’t get disgruntled about its lack of input controls while we’re using the peripherals for the SteamLink box. Geth has ordered a set to be delivered tomorrow (he is extremely keen to play XCOM 2 on the big TV screen), so fingers crossed it should all be running smoothly by tomorrow evening.
A blog admin note: I’m going to be trying something different this week. I’ll be doing my usual diary posts on Monday to Friday (along with my usual Phone Box Thursday post), but for next weekend’s posts, I’m going to catch up with some of the review posts I’ve been meaning to do for months, post a couple of links to my running videos over the weekend, and then do a big diary update on the Monday. This serves a twofold purpose: it enables me to get my main weekend posts done in advance; and it means that I can finally start doing my review posts again (I’ve only really had the time to do one post per day recently, which is why my reviews haven’t been getting done). I’m looking forward to getting some posts out about gigs and parkruns and races again!
I’ll be videogaming as usual this evening, though obviously not on the SteamLink box just yet.
The ‘second’ blossom tree in our garden (the one that blossoms later, with darker blossom) is doing really nicely now.
Today’s earworm playlist:
Cast of The Little Mermaid – ‘Daughters Of Triton’ Kylie Minogue – ‘I Should Be So Lucky’ Nobuo Uematsu – ‘Mako Reactor’ Nobuo Uematsu – ‘Let The Battles Begin!’
The one thing I want to do once we can buy non-essentials again is get some more gravel – the gravel that is already there has moved about a bit over the winter and so parts of the webbing are exposed.
On the whole, though, it’s a lovely spot to sit out now that it’s getting warm.
I decided to do a longer run rather than a parkrun-replacement pace run today…
…but somehow, despite deciding I was going to take it comfortably, I ended up getting a 10k PB! I ran 10k in just under an hour and five minutes, which is about four and a half minutes faster than the PB I set at the Sunderland City 10k last year. I’m now really, really hopeful that, assuming my rescheduled autumn races are able to go ahead, I could manage that magical sub-hour result this year. We’ll see.
Looking forward to a relaxed weekend now! As usual, I have about five different videogames on the go and plans for playthroughs of many more. In addition to all the 3DS games I’m finishing off, I’ve got the PSP out so that I can have a go at Final Fantasy I. While I’ve played many of the FF spinoff games for DS/3DS, I’ve never actually played any of the mainline games, and so I thought the first one would be a good place to start. I know none of the plots have anything to do with each other, but I like playing game series in order!
I’m taking a break for the weekend from creating graphics for my various adventure game projects, but I’ll be getting back to it on Monday as I’d like to have a full set ready for my next game by the end of the week.
The PSP version of Final Fantasy I is a lot of fun, even though I’ve not really managed to do anything in the game so far. As I understand it, it’s a bit more forgiving than the original version, but it’s still quite a bit tougher than the modern-day JRPGs I’m used to on the 3DS!
Today’s earworm playlist:
Furniture – ‘Brilliant Mind’ Toto – ‘Africa’ Duran Duran – ‘Rio’
…because I’m planning to do some slightly longer routes over the weekend. We’ll see how I get on!
I feel like I’ve settled into my new daily routine now – and after nearly four weeks of lockdown, I suppose it’s not really ‘new’ anymore. Today is a lighter day work- and admin-wise, so I’m looking forward to getting on with my videogames from this afternoon onwards.
I also have some tentative new plans for future Sunday blogs. Watch this space.
‘Pictures of next door’s cat in our garden’ will probably become a regular thing over the course of this lockdown. He’s taken to sneaking in through the front door when I get back from my morning run, so ‘pictures of next door’s cat on our staircase’ may also become a thing if I remember to take them.
Today’s earworm playlist:
The Beatles – ‘Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds’ Elbow – ‘One Day Like This’ Cast of The Lion King – ‘Circle Of Life’ Sacre – ‘The London Marathon’ Red Hot Chili Peppers – ‘Road Trippin”
A slight diversion on a usual running route today…
…which made it a three-mile-plus run. Always good to get the extra distance in.
I’ve been feeling like my personal fashion style has changed again recently. When I reached my target weight in 2018 and had to buy a whole new wardrobe as a result, I went for a mixture of timeless investment pieces, which I knew would last me for life if I took care of them, and fun vintage finds, which satisfied my obsession with ’80s fashion.
I have not worn any of that stuff in months. My lifestyle, even before the lockdown, has shifted to that of a sort of active homebody – I get up in the morning and change into running gear, and after my run I go for my shower and then throw on a comfy leggings/t-shirt/jumper combo, because I know I’m going to be spending the rest of the day either on the sofa, doing housework, or doing a bit of yoga or Pilates. The numerous pairs of good quality jeans I bought two years ago are not comfy or casual enough for a spontaneous yoga session. My vintage ’80s stuff, other than my well-loved collection of cosy winter jumpers, is too fancy for lounging around the house. I have not worn shoes other than running shoes for over a month: I have two pairs in rotation for actual running, and one ancient pair that I use for going out to the garage or garden.
Even pre-lockdown, I rarely had anything to go to that required dressing up – nobody minds what you wear to Slimming World or ukulele class, and even poetry night is far from a formal affair. This year, I have only been out of leggings a handful of times – New Year’s Day, the LeBrock gig, a couple of family meals in February… and I think that’s about it. Most of my leggings cost £2 from Primark, but they’re getting a LOT more wear than the £50 jeans hanging in my wardrobe.
I’m not about to get rid of what I bought in 2018 – there may come a time when I’m interacting with the world on a regular enough basis that I might make the effort to wear something with actual fastenings again, although I expect it will be a slow road out of lockdown for me personally seeing as I’m appreciating the peace and quiet so much – but I don’t see myself buying any more investment pieces or filling up my bag at vintage fairs again for a good couple of years at least.
I may start spending slightly more than £2 on leggings though, seeing as they’ve been so good to me recently.
I’ve always loved high-heeled shoes, but they are so far removed from my current lifestyle that it’s laughable. At least they look pretty on the shelf!
Today’s earworm playlist:
Hiroki Morishita – ‘Just Across This Mountain And We’ll Arrive Soon’ Nina Nesbitt – ‘Stay Out’ Nobuo Uematsu – ‘On Our Way’ Cast of The Muppet Christmas Carol – ‘It Feels Like Christmas’ Red Hot Chili Peppers – ‘Road Trippin” Duran Duran – ‘A View To A Kill’ Gordon Duncan – ‘Sleeping Tune’*
