Forty-one

I’ve been feeling a little ‘meh’ about this birthday (which I suppose is to be expected the year after a milestone age). Happy birthday to me. Guess I’m forty-something now.

Partly this is due to looking back at past birthday / new year posts and feeling like I claim to have learnt the same lessons every year but never put them into practice. Change has to be gradual, I suppose, but I would like it to hurry up a bit. However, I am feeling fairly happy and positive about the upcoming year, and also feeling able to be more kind to myself going forward.

Anyway, today has been lovely as usual. I finally got to do a birthday parkrun! I opened presents and ate birthday cake and played videogames. Perfect.

Cake!

Hoping to feel a tiny bit better about forty-two this time next year!

…and hello 2026!

Happy New Year! Geth and I are at home in Newcastle again for New Year, looking forward to a quiet start to 2026.

This year’s New Year Resolutions:

  • As ever: sort the house out. Get rid of the rest of the stuff that needs getting rid of, paint the walls that need painting, find a proper place for everything kept.
  • Do more writing (prose fiction, text adventure games, and this blog). More importantly, get it out into the world.
  • Overhaul the training plan, make improving in the half marathon the focus for the year, and DO NOT run any marathons in 2026.
  • Keep prioritising videogaming, and play more games that aren’t Disney Dreamlight Valley. I love it but I spent far too much time on it in 2025.
  • Don’t go on any out-of-town trips in 2026 that weren’t considered by the end of 2025 (barring weddings and the like).
  • Make more serious efforts towards the long-talked-about midlife career change.

And today’s the day: happy eighth birthday to my blog!

Goodbye 2025…

Time for the annual wrap-up post. In many ways, I feel a bit blah about this year, though it has still been an important one in the process.

Business is still the same as last year: i.e. there’s not enough of it. I’m really hoping to have the time to do more branching out and make more changes in 2026.

Like last year, I only released two short games, and one of them was a deliberately bad one for the Bad IF Jam. I would love to be able to make more time for game-making and creative pursuits in general, but it just can’t be a priority at the moment.

I’ve been consistent with my running but I’ve not improved this year – I didn’t get any PBs at all in 2025, which is disappointing. I do still feel I have them in me but I think my training needs an overhaul. I’ve done a lot of thinking about that and I know what I’m going to change next year.

I did a bit better with the parkrun goals! I earned my 250 shirt in March and visited another 12 new-to-me venues, achieving my 50th different venue at Ekebergsletta in November.

Music: I listened to a lot of classic pop and film/game soundtracks! I also went to see the Duran Duran Hallowe’en gig (very exciting, review to come soon) and the Boomtown Rats in November (ditto)!

Videogaming: I have done a lot of gaming this year, largely because I have played an obscene amount of Disney Dreamlight Valley (in total: 724 hours and 27 minutes, which is over 30 DAYS of gaming time – meaning I spent an entire TWELFTH of my life in 2025 playing this game). As such, you wouldn’t think I had much time for any other games, and largely you’d be right. However, in addition:

  • I have finished Radiant Historia: Perfect Chronology, Etrian Odyssey HD, Disney Villains Cursed Café, Layton Brothers Mystery Room, and Parascientific Escape 3: Crossing at the Farthest Horizon.
  • I have continued my years-long journey playing Block-A-Pix Colour and Luigi’s Mansion.
  • I have started Ace Attorney: Spirit of Justice, Layton’s Mystery Journey: Katrielle and the Millionaires’ Conspiracy, The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom, Sea of Stars, and Zombies Run! (all to continue next year).
  • I played a few text adventures from the IF community, but not as many as I would like.
  • Finally, I have continued to play Wordle, Monopoly Go, and Water Sort Puzzle daily on my phone!

My successes and failures regarding last year’s New Year Resolutions:

  • Finally finish my de-hoarding in the house and get started on the decorating. I CAN do this. De-hoarding I didn’t have much time for this year (the house is manageable, so I tend to forget about it, but there is still quite a lot to get rid of). Decorating… well, I did at least get some painting done! (It was just anti-mould paint, but still something I’d been putting off for a long time!)
  • Put some work into getting my creative energy back (largely by taking some downtime from my race training every now and again, which didn’t happen last year). I did take occasional training downtime, and the creative spark has returned at times, but I’ve not been able to make time to be productive with this.
  • Run PBs in all four main running distances – they don’t have to be big PBs seeing as I’ve already improved so much over the last two years, but I do want to keep improving! Complete fail. No PBs this year.
  • Make time for videogaming like it’s part of my job. It’s really important for my mental health. I did make a lot more time for it this year and I do feel happier as a result.
  • Live a slightly quieter life again – fewer trips, fewer races etc. I thrive on daily/weekly routine and get distressed if things disrupt it. Special occasions are lovely but they need to be rare or I start to resent them rather than appreciating them. No more than two events/trips per month. This is really difficult to do as Geth and I both get so excited about the idea of doing things that need to be booked many months in advance. What I have realised in 2025 is that some times of year are better than others for being a little busier.
  • Don’t go back to regular scrolling of social media. I am so much happier since I took a permanent break from it. I’m nowhere near as bad as I used to be but it has crept in now and again. I really wish it weren’t the default way of keeping up with people.

2026 resolutions coming up tomorrow!

My thirties: a review

I think, when I am at the end of my life – a long time in the future, I hope – if I am ever asked what the most significant decade for me was, I am certain that I will say it was my thirties.

Here are a couple of pictures of me on the first day of my thirties, 3rd January 2015.

30th birthday pictures
In the morning having cake with family, and then dancing at my birthday party in the evening. I always had a drink in hand; I was overweight and hadn’t gone for a haircut in years; and I was in a lot of chronic pain and very unhappy. Also, that birthday was the last birthday I was allowed to have the correct number of candles on the cake, because my family were starting to get worried about the house burning down.

I was very much still carrying the chaos of my twenties with me. I was in poor health, partly genetic but mostly self-inflicted. I was trying to get a novel published, but I wouldn’t show it to a soul except for agents. I was about to move from Southampton to Newcastle the following month, and I was stressed, because I find moving incredibly stressful. At this point, I had never even been to Newcastle.

Life is so different a decade on.

I have such a changed understanding of my health and my body now. A few months after moving to Newcastle, I started running, and over the years it’s become the most important thing I do every day. Two years later, I decided to take control of my weight and lost five stone via Slimming World. Then another two years after that, I faced up to my alcohol addiction and quit drinking. All of this enabled me to be taken more seriously by doctors, and I finally had diagnoses for my ankylosing spondylitis and my asthma – issues that had affected me for my whole adult life. Daily living is so, so much better now that I am healthy, and I know that the lifestyle I’ve built will enable me to be a healthy and active older adult in the future.

When I turned thirty, I was upset that I hadn’t yet managed to become a published novelist. On the eve of my forties, I am still not a published novelist, and I’m fine with that. I understand now that these things happen when they’re meant to, and the progress I’ve made in my writing over the past ten years means more to me. That progress has, for the large part, come about via being brave enough to share my writing with others – through programming and publishing text adventure games and through reading my poems at poetry nights – and the helpful feedback and affirmation I’ve received through these processes. I still have dreams of being a novelist, and many works in progress, but it will happen in its own time.

When Geth and I moved to Newcastle, I saw it as just another temporary location, as I still very much wanted to return to Edinburgh eventually. I hadn’t really settled well in Southampton, and I didn’t imagine myself ever seeing anywhere other than Edinburgh as ‘home’. But now, Newcastle is absolutely my home, and I see myself living here forever. I had never even visited the city until we did a quick househunting trip three weeks before we moved here, but I have fallen in love with the place. It is where I feel most comfortable now.

Here are a couple of pictures of me from today, the final day of my thirties.

Last day of my thirties
I ran, as usual – today it was a run to the Hard Rock Café for lunch and a souvenir. Then I spent the evening relaxing on my sofa, which is my favourite way to spend an evening. I don’t like going out later in the day, and that’s fine.

I am so excited for my forties. I am so much more confident and sure of myself and happy in my own skin, and I know I will achieve a lot. But it was what I did in my thirties that created the foundation for this confidence. I changed my own life, and I am so proud of myself for doing that.

…and a look ahead to 2025!

Happy New Year everyone! Geth and I are (unusually) at home in Newcastle for New Year, having a lovely peaceful time as we continue through the Christmas season.

This year’s New Year Resolutions:

  • Finally finish my de-hoarding in the house and get started on the decorating. I CAN do this.
  • Put some work into getting my creative energy back (largely by taking some downtime from my race training every now and again, which didn’t happen last year).
  • Run PBs in all four main running distances – they don’t have to be big PBs seeing as I’ve already improved so much over the last two years, but I do want to keep improving!
  • Make time for videogaming like it’s part of my job. It’s really important for my mental health.
  • Live a slightly quieter life again – fewer trips, fewer races etc. I thrive on daily/weekly routine and get distressed if things disrupt it. Special occasions are lovely but they need to be rare or I start to resent them rather than appreciating them. No more than two events/trips per month.
  • Don’t go back to regular scrolling of social media. I am so much happier since I took a permanent break from it.

Also, happy seventh birthday to my blog! I’ve not had much time for it this year (it’s often just been Phone Box Thursday posts keeping it going), but hopefully that will change in 2025.

2024 wrap-up…

It’s been a big year. I’m still very busy, and still in a probably lifelong process of trying to work out what the most important things in my life are and what I should be prioritising!

Business is still going well and is still nicely time-balanced, but I’ve become too reliant on a few ongoing contracts that are coming to an end. For 2025 I have some plans to branch out in both my main proofreading business and my side hustles.

I only released two short games this year. This is nowhere near my usual prolific release rate, but I just haven’t had the creative energy or motivation, largely due to being tired from my increased running mileage. It was great to be able to make those two games towards the end of the year, but I would really love to be able to complete something longer in 2025 – especially as my interest in writing poetry and prose fiction is also rekindling, and so there might be a few competing creative priorities.

It’s been another incredible year in running. I’ve got back to marathon training (Manchester and Yorkshire were both huge learning experiences), run my first ultra, and improved in my shorter distances as well. I set targets at the start of the year to run 30+ miles every single week, run a half marathon distance run at least once per month, and be more consistent with my strength training. I have achieved all of those and am very proud of myself. My daily run streak is still going strong too – fifth year completed today! I love running so much and I have made so many friends through it.

PB improvements in 2024:

  • 5k: 26:10 to 23:21 (2 minutes and 49 seconds)
  • 10k: 54:23 to 48:57 (5 minutes and 26 seconds)
  • Half marathon: 2:14:52 to 1:55:22 (19 minutes and 30 seconds)
  • Marathon: 6:26:41 to 4:16:30 (2 hours, 10 minutes and 11 seconds)

I visited TEN new-to-me parkruns this year, which made up for only doing one last year! I’ve now visited 38 different events in total. This year’s new ones visited were Blyth Links, Wythenshawe, Faskally Forest, Troon, Ruchill, Carlingwark Loch, Heaton Park, York, Fælledparken and Auldcathie District. Five of those were in Scotland (I have loved being able to visit the homeland a bit more than usual in 2024) and one was in Denmark, which was my fourth different official parkrun country. I was also really consistent with my parkrunning – I only missed one this year, due to a Saturday race!

Music-wise I pretty much entirely listened to Duran Duran until I got into the Christmas playlists earlier this month! I also went to see two gigs – OMD in Leeds and The Midnight here in Newcastle. I’m still very behind with my gig reviews, but hopefully I’ll be able to catch up in 2025.

Here and there I was able to make a bit more time for videogaming, which is great, because it’s the only thing that totally relaxes me and I would love to be able to do it more. This year I have finished Zak McKraken: Between Time and Space, Inside, Sam & Max season 2 (all three of those had been started a literal decade ago and I hadn’t got round to finishing them until now), Alba: A Wildlife Adventure, the third and final episode of the Sea of Thieves / Monkey Island collaboration, The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles (after playing it on and off for nearly three years!), Paper Mario, Etrian Odyssey HD (with the exception of the post-game, which I’ll get to in January) and Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc. I am also still working my way through Block-A-Pix Colour and Luigi’s Mansion, and have enjoyed some text adventures via the IF community.

My successes and failures regarding last year’s New Year Resolutions:

  • Get rid of at least half of the stuff in my house, preferably two-thirds. A lifetime of hoarding has left me with so much stuff I don’t use that’s just getting in my way. I’ve got to the point where I just want it gone. I am trying. I’ve got rid of a lot, but it’s complicated and often logistically difficult to get rid of stuff (I like to recycle and donate where possible). I really need to dedicate more time to this.
  • Spend six months making a polished game for IFComp (the biggest text adventure game competition of the year) rather than making six small, rushed games for smaller comps and jams and burning out by the middle of summer. Well, I didn’t make anything before IFComp (not for lack of trying!). But I found it very hard to make time for game-making this year, and so while I did finally manage to enter IFComp (which was an achievement), it was only a short game rather than the epic I envisaged.
  • Run big marathon PBs at Manchester and Yorkshire and continue to take chunks off my half marathon, 10k and 5k PBs. Smashed this goal – see above for details!
  • Be more focused with my strength training. I was. I am especially proud of my Yorkshire training block, during which I never missed a weekly strength session.
  • Try to work with my fickle changes in interest when it comes to my hobbies rather than fighting the former and seeing the latter as chores. Right now my biggest non-running passions are fashion and Duran Duran. At some point in 2024 it’ll be videogaming again. At some point, maybe in several years’ time, it might even be Doctor Who again. That is fine. It’s fine that I neglect some hobbies while I’m passionate about others. It doesn’t make me a bad fan or a bad person, and I don’t need to catch up with five years’ worth of online discussion all at once if I come back to something after a while. I feel like I am improving in this aspect and am able to roll with my changing interests a little more. I just wish I had more time to indulge in them!
  • Play ukulele again. And, in the spirit of the above, not be demoralised that I’ve pretty much forgotten how. I did not pick up any of my ukuleles (though I did find them a new place while moving stuff about in the house). However, in the spirit of the above, I am fine with that. Ukulele will be there when I’m ready.

I’ll post my look ahead to 2025 tomorrow!

Merry Christmas!

Geth and I are enjoying a few days of peace and quiet after what has been a fantastic year for us. I’ll be back in a few days’ time to post about 2024 at length, hopes for 2025, and Christmas parkrun adventures.

Christmas

We wish you a happy and peaceful Christmas and a wonderful New Year.

Thirty-nine

It’s my thirty-ninth birthday today. I only have one year left of the extraordinary decade that is my thirties. I intend to make the most of it and be as ready as I can be for my forties, which I hope will be an even better decade for me.

I didn’t think I’d still be learning about myself at this age, but every year brings more wisdom, experience and confidence. This year I intend to say ‘no’ a lot more and focus on identifying the things that are right for me.

I celebrated my birthday with family, cake and presents under the Christmas tree in Edinburgh this morning, and am now back home in Newcastle for a quiet evening with pizza and TV.

Birthday cake
With my birthday cake, made with care as ever by Dad. (c) John Cooke 2024.